Animals, Birds, and Dr. Dolittle
scholar: a
learned person
Doctor Dolittle was sitting in his kitchen talking with the Cat’s-
food-Man who had come to see him with a stomach-ache.
“Why don’t you give up being a people’s doctor, and be an
animal doctor?” asked the Cat’s-food-Man.
The parrot, Polynesia, was sitting in the window looking out
at the rain and singing a sailor song to herself. She stopped
singing and started to listen.
“You see, Doctor,” the Cat’s-food-Man went on, “you know all
about animals—much more than what these vets here do.
That book you wrote—about cats, why, it’s wonderful! I can’t
read or write myself—my wife, Theodosia, is a scholar, and
she read your book to me. You might have been a cat yourself.
You know the way they think.”
When the Cat’s-food-Man had gone the parrot flew off the
window on to the Doctor’s table and said, “That man’s got
sense. That’s what you ought to do. Be an animal doctor. Give
the silly people up—if they haven’t brains enough to see you’re
the best doctor in the world. Take care of animals instead—
they’ll soon find it out. Be an animal doctor.”
“Oh, there are plenty of animal doctors,” said John Dolittle,
putting the flowerpots outside on the windowsill to get the
rain.
“Yes, there are plenty,” said Polynesia. “But none of them are
any good at all. Now listen, Doctor, and I’ll tell you something.
Did you know that animals can talk?”
“I knew that parrots can talk,” said the Doctor.
“Oh, we parrots can talk in two languages—people’s language
and bird language,” said Polynesia proudly. “If I say, ‘Polly
wants a cracker’, you understand me. But hear this: Ka-ka oi-
ee, fee-fee?”
“Good Gracious!” cried the Doctor. “What does that mean?”
“That means, ‘Is the porridge hot yet?’—in bird language.”
“My! You don’t say so!” said the Doctor. “You never talked that
way to me before.”
“What would have been the good?” said Polynesia, dusting
some cracker crumbs off her left wing. “You wouldn’t have
understood me if I had.”
“Tell me some more,” said the Doctor, all excited; and he
rushed over to the drawer and came back with a book and
a pencil. “Now don’t go too fast—and I’ll write it down.
This is interesting—very interesting—something quite new.
Give me the Birds’ A.B.C. first—slowly now.”
So that was the way the Doctor came to know that animals
had a language of their own and could talk to one
another. And all that afternoon, while it was
raining, Polynesia sat on the kitchen table
giving him bird words to put down in the
book.
At teatime, when the dog, Jip, came in,
the parrot said to the Doctor, “See, he’s
talking to you.”
“Looks to me as though he were
scratching his ear,” said the Doctor.
“But animals don’t always speak
with their mouths,” said the parrot
in a high voice, raising her eyebrows.
“They talk with their ears, with their
feet, with their tails—with everything.
Sometimes they don’t want to make a
Birds’ A.B.C.:
(here) the
language that
birds speak
cracker: a thin,
dry biscuit
usually eaten
with cheese
noise. Do you see now the way he’s twitching up one side of his
nose?”
“What’s that mean?” asked the Doctor.
“That means, ‘Can’t you see that it has stopped raining?’”
Polynesia answered. “He is asking you a question. Dogs nearly
always use their noses for asking questions.”
After a while, with the parrot’s help, the Doctor got to learn the
language of the animals so well that he could talk to them himself
and understand everything they said. Then he gave up being a
people’s doctor altogether.
A Funny Man
One day a funny kind of man
Came walking down this street
He wore a shoe upon his head
And hats upon his feet.
He raised the shoe and smiled at me,
His manners were polite;
But never had I seen before
Such a funny sounding sight.
He said, “Allow me to present
Your Highness with a rose.”
And taking out a currant bun
He held it to my nose.
I staggered back against the wall
And then I answered, “Well!
I never saw a rose with such
A funny looking smell.”
He then began to sing a song,
And sat down on the ground;
You never heard in all your life
Such a funny feeling sound.
“My friend, why do you wear two hats
Upon your feet?” I said.
He turned the other way about,
And hopped home on his head.
Natalie Joan
Say the Right Thing
This is a humorous play in which a mother advises her
daughter to say the right thing at the right time. However,
when guests arrive, the daughter hilariously forgets her
mother’s guidance.
Read the play to find out how she commits blunders and
embarrasses the guests as well as her mother.
Characters
Mary Shaw
: a young girl
Mrs. Shaw
: Mary’s mother
Mrs. Harding
: the wife of Mr. Harding, a wealthy man
Mrs. Lee
: Mr. Harding’s married sister
hilariously: in
a very funny
way
blunders:
careless
mistakes
embarrasses:
makes (the
guests)
uncomfortable
Scene I
Mrs. Shaw : The room looks cleaner now. Put that coat away in
your bedroom. This room isn’t the place for coats.
Mrs. Harding and Mrs. Lee will soon be here, and
they don’t want to see that.
Mary
: You’re always telling me to put things away.
Mrs. Shaw : Yes, I am. You leave your clothes all over the house.
Mary
: I’m not a child!
Mrs. Shaw : No, you’re not. So please keep your clothes in your
own room.
Mary
: Why are those two women coming here? Who’s Mrs.
Harding?
Mrs. Shaw : She’s the wife of a wealthy man, Mr. Harding. He
has just bought a big house in Lanfield. They lived in
London before. She’s coming to have a talk. I met her
in a shop and asked her to come.
Mary
: Oh, I’ve seen her children. They often come along the
road. Who’s Mrs. Lee?
Mrs. Shaw : She’s Mr. Harding’s sister. She has been staying with
them for a while.
Mary
: What are you going to talk about?
Mrs. Shaw : I don’t know. All kinds of things. One day you’ll have
to go to some of these houses yourself and talk to the
people there.
Mary
: I can talk now. I’ve been able to talk for a long time.
Mrs. Shaw : Yes, that’s true. You always talk too much. But does
anyone want to hear the things that you say?
Mary
: I can talk very well when I like. I’ll stay with you
today and talk to them when they come.
Mrs. Shaw : Oh, I don’t think so. You can go out for a walk. It will
be better if you do that.
Mary
: Why?
Mrs. Shaw : If you stay with me, you may not say the right thing.
Mary
: I know the right things to say: “Good afternoon”,
“How are you?” and things like that. Let me stay
today. I can do it very well. I’ll show you. Anyone
can talk.
Mrs. Shaw : You may stay if you like. But take
care. I want to know Mrs. Harding
well. I want her to ask me to go to
their house. There isn’t much to
do here in Lanfield, and I want to
know some more people. I want
some more friends here. So take
care when you say anything.
Mary
: Tell me what to say.
Mrs. Shaw : I can’t tell you everything, but
you’ll always be right if you’re
kind to people. Say things that
will please them. Then they’ll like
you. Laugh a lot, and try to make
them laugh too. And if everyone stops talking, say
something to make them talk again. They don’t want
to sit here and look at the floor without speaking.
Think of something to say.
Mary
: I can do that. There’s always something to say. Must I
do anything else?
Mrs. Shaw : When they are ready to leave, don’t jump out of your
chair and look gladly at the door. You must look sorry
when they want to leave.
Mary
: What shall I do when they want to go?
Mrs. Shaw : Ask them to stay a little while longer. Just say, “Must
you go? Can’t you stay?” or something like that. You
like them and you want them to stay, and you must
let them understand that.
Mary
: That’s not very hard, is it? I’ll remember that. “Must
you go? Can’t you stay? Must you go? Can’t you stay?”
Mrs. Shaw : That’s right. Now take your coat to your room
and change into a clean dress. You must look nice
when they come. And if everyone stops talking, say
something kind to make them talk again. And don’t
say anything that will make them angry.
Mary
: I will remember. I’ve often done harder things than this.