How to turn a play into a story
| In the play | In the story |
|---|---|
| Character names before each line | Reporting verbs — said, protested, murmured, insisted |
| Stage directions in brackets — (quietly), (with a red face) | Descriptive sentences — Her face turned scarlet. |
| “(No one speaks.)” | A described silence — The clock on the mantelpiece could be heard quite clearly. |
| Scene I / Scene II | Paragraphs, joined with time words — That afternoon…, A little later… |
| Everything is dialogue | Keep the best three or four lines as direct speech; report the rest |
Use the past tense and the third person throughout, and keep the humour by describing the reactions rather than explaining the joke.
Mrs. Shaw had moved to Lanfield only a few months earlier, and she badly wanted friends. So when she met Mrs. Harding in a shop, she invited her home for tea — and spent the whole morning tidying the sitting room while her daughter Mary trailed behind her, arguing.
“You're always telling me to put things away,” Mary complained, dragging her coat off the sofa. “I'm not a child!”
“No, you're not,” said her mother. “So please keep your clothes in your own room.” She looked at her daughter and hesitated. It might be safer, she suggested, if Mary went out for a walk that afternoon. Mary was indignant. She could talk perfectly well when she liked, she said; anyone could talk. Her mother gave in, but not without a warning. Be kind, she told her. Say things that will please people. And when the guests get up to go, look sorry — say, “Must you go? Can't you stay?” Mary repeated the words twice, delighted with herself. She had, she said, often done harder things than this.
The guests arrived at four: Mrs. Harding, the wife of the wealthy man who had bought the big house, and her sister-in-law Mrs. Lee. For about two minutes everything went beautifully. Then the conversation faltered, Mrs. Shaw glanced at her daughter, and Mary stepped in to help.
“What beautiful children you have, Mrs. Harding! I've often seen them walking along the road.”
“Oh,” said Mrs. Harding, “I haven't any children.”
Mary insisted that she had seen them — a little boy and a little girl — until Mrs. Harding said, rather less pleasantly, that she had no children at all. There was a small, cold silence, which Mrs. Shaw hurried to fill with a question about Mr. Best.
It was a mistake. Mary laughed at Mr. Best for spending his life in trains, declared that he read nothing but newspapers, and finished cheerfully, “But he's only a banker, and bankers can't think.” Mrs. Lee waited a moment and then observed that her brother was a banker, who travelled to London every morning and read two newspapers on the way.
After that the afternoon became a kind of disaster in slow motion. Mary laughed at Mrs. Best's blue dress and red coat; Mrs. Harding owned a blue dress and often wore a red coat over it. Mary could not understand women who lay in bed all morning and sent for the doctor; Mrs. Harding stayed in bed in the mornings, and Mrs. Lee often went to the doctor. Mary thought talkative women uninteresting; Mrs. Lee's mother was extremely talkative. Each time, Mary said, “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know,” and each time nobody spoke at all.
Then she looked out of the window and saw the dog. It was dirty, she announced. She did not like dogs. Who would want one? Why did its owner not keep it clean? Mrs. Harding leaned forward, looked out of the window, and said, “Yes, I've seen it. That's Towzer. It's our dog.” Mary's face went scarlet.
Mr. Pomeroy rode past on his horse, and Mary asked why any man should prefer horses to people. Mrs. Lee explained, patiently, that her brother had sold his house in London precisely so that he could ride and practise shooting.
Mrs. Harding looked at Mrs. Lee. It was getting late, she said; they really must go. It had been very nice to have a little talk. Both women looked at Mary.
“It was very good of you to come,” said Mrs. Shaw. “Please stay a little longer.”
And Mary, remembering at last that she had a line to say, said it. “Oh, must you stay? Can't you go?”
Nobody answered that either.